One of the unexpected things about leadership is how often it points back at you.

When I first started leading people, I assumed the biggest challenges would come from somewhere else. Difficult decisions. Tough conversations. Hiring the right people. Navigating uncertainty.

Those things are certainly part of leadership.

But over time I've realized that most leadership challenges have a way of exposing something in me first.

Sometimes it's impatience. Sometimes it's assuming everyone sees the world the way I do. Sometimes it's wanting to solve a problem before I've fully understood it. And sometimes it's simply believing I'm being clear when I'm not.

I've come to appreciate that leadership isn't just about understanding other people. It's about understanding yourself well enough to recognize how you show up for other people.

That isn't always comfortable.

In fact, it rarely is.

One of the reasons we've invested so much time in personal development at Tandem isn't because we enjoy taking assessments or reading leadership books. It's because we've learned that every advisor has blind spots. Every leader does. Every person does.

The challenge is that we almost never recognize them on our own. That's why they're blind spots.

We've found tools like CliftonStrengths, Working Genius, Kolbe, and MindScan helpful—not because they define who we are, but because they often give language to something we've sensed but couldn't quite explain. Sometimes they confirm what we've always known. Other times they reveal something we've never considered. Neither outcome is the point - the point is becoming a little more aware than we were yesterday.

I've also noticed something else; most of us naturally extend grace to other people while expecting perfection from ourselves.

We celebrate someone else's growth but minimize our own. We assume other people have good intentions while questioning our own decisions.

That isn't always humility. Sometimes it's simply a lack of perspective.

Growing in self-awareness isn't about becoming self-focused. It's about becoming honest enough to ask, "How might other people experience me?"

That's a very different question than, "Who do I think I am?"

The irony is that the more we understand ourselves, the easier it becomes to understand someone else. We're less defensive, more curious and more patient. We listen longer and ask better questions. And eventually we give better advice. Not because we've become different people, because we've become more intentional people.

One of the things I appreciate most about our team is that we've created an environment where it's safe to keep learning. About financial planning, leadership, each other… and about ourselves.

Because the work of becoming a better advisor has never been just about accumulating more knowledge. It's about becoming the kind of person who can be trusted with someone else's story.

And I think that's a journey that never really ends.